Mullah Nasrudin Comes to America!
New tales of the Sufi Charactor’s Exploits in the New World by
Hamid Copyright 1994
Mulla Nasrudin is a favorite character of the Sufis through which to
convey poignant and timeless truths veiled in the guise of humorous, even
ridiculous vignette. The stories are often presented through the use of
symbology that has developed over the centuries through the poetic literature
of the various Sufi orders. The Sufis, realizing the impossibility of conveying
their mystical knowledge through common language, have adopted the poetic
use of the parable to point to the reality of Life behind its multifarious
appearences. As with life, Sufi stories often times must be studied closely
in order to penetrate the various meanings of the stories and the various
levels of interpretation of the stories which can change based on the level
of realization of the reader so that, as one’s realization of life deepens,
new meanings may emerge from one and the same story. The backdrop of many
of the stories is often the mundane, everyday life that all people can
relate to. Thus the wisdom and insights of the stories are intended to
be recognized and applied to our daily situations in life. Very often Life
speaks to us through the various situations that we encounter and if we
can open our intuition to understand the Divine interplay happening through
and all around us we will often be able to interpret what is our part to
play in things. As Sufism spreads in America, especially through the Universalist
(and, I might add, very Post-Dogmatist) branch initiated by Hazrat Inayat
Khan known in the United states as the Sufi Order, it is inevitable that
the synthesis of Sufism with Modernism and especially with the diverse
multi-cultural collage of American society and its humor, will lead to
a multitude of possibilities for breathing new life into this most famous
of all Sufi characters, Mulla Nasrudin. It is to this end that the author
offers the present work of entirely new tales of Nasrudin’s exploits as
he makes a new life in America. So, how is it that the Mulla has found
his way to America? You can be sure that it was quite by accident! Mulla
Nasrudin does not so much navigate his way though life as he rides along
its unpredictable and often surprising streams making the best out of whatever
situation that he happens to find himself in. Mulla Nasrudin is portrayed
here as an unorthodox spiritual guide who uses, with great efficiency,
everyday situations to instruct his students and to provide living examples
of his teaching. We hope you enjoy these stories.
“Three Percent”
Mulla Nasaradin was once invited to speak on the subject of the Divine
Qualities at a prestigious university in the Northeast. While he was lecturing
on the subject of the Divine Light, he closed his eyes in deep contemplation
looking for the words to express himself. Suddenly, he was overcome by
Divine ecstasy. To his students he seemed to have lost him mind for he
began ranting and raving as if insane. His students, who had arranged for
him to speak, quickly took over the situation and concluded the lecture
for him. After everyone had gone, they talked among themselves and decided
to bring him to a nearby mental hospital for observation. For several days
he was incoherent, lost in the higher spheres of consciousness. His students
took turns staying with him worried as they were about his condition. Every
hour different medical personnel would come in to check his condition and
speculate as to what name should be given to his mental disorder for insurance
purposes. Eventually, Mulla Nasrudin regained normal consciousness and
sat up in the hospital bed. “Where am I?” he demanded from the nurse who
was there to take his blood pressure. The nurse, shocked by his seemingly
miraculous recovery said, “You are in the hospital. Don’t worry. I’ll be
right back.” She ran out of the room to get the psychologist who quickly
returned with the nurse to see the Mulla. “How are we today?” the psychologist
asked in a cautious tone. “ Well, I don’t know about you my dear but I
am quite well thank you. What am I doing here?” Mulla asked. The psychologist
recounted the story told to her by the mulla's students and then about
his unusual behavior at the hospital and began explaining to Mulla Nasrudin
the various mental disorders that she felt he might possibly be a victim
of. The mulla listened patiently as the doctor recounted in medical jargon
her theories as to what had happened to him. When she was finished speaking
the mulla started to get up from the bed saying, “Well that is all very
interesting but as you can see I am perfectly fine now and well rested.
I would not dream of imposing on you any longer so I must be going. Thank
you very much for you hospitality.” The nurse pushed Mulla Nasrudin back
down on the bed. “Please sir, not so fast, you must rest for now.” The
psychologist agreed, “Yes the nurse is quite right, you may think that
you are all right but really you must be very ill and we could not, in
good conscience allow you to leave just now. Please try to relax while
we try to figure out what has happened to you.” The mulla laid back down
in the bed as the nurse pulled the covers over him. The mulla looked at
the nurse as the doctor left the room and said, “This is very kind of you
my dear, I see that you and the doctor are most concerned about me. I am
very touched.” “That’s fine sir, just try to rest.” and as she turned to
leave she said under her breath, “Touched isn’t the word for this one!”
and then she left. Completely invigorated by his ecstatic vision, the mulla
sat up in the bed meditating upon his beautiful and profound experience
the whole world seemed quite transfigured. Just then several of his students
came in to check on him and were overjoyed at his recovery. They sat and
talked to him and asked him to give some clue as to what he had experienced.
“What I have witnessed is beyond words my dear ones but my question to
you is why have you brought me here? I would have been quite fine to be
given a small room and left alone as is our custom in the East. You needn’t
have brought me here to worry these good people they think that there is
something wrong with me.” said Mulla Nasrudin. Just then the psychologist
came back in and asked everyone to leave. When the students had gone the
psychologist began asking the Mulla about his childhood in an effort to
figure out his illness. After a time the Mulla asked the doctor, “Why do
you think that I am sick? As you can see with your own eyes I am quite
healthy!” The Doctor looked penetratingly into the Mullah’s eyes and said,
“You have had some sort of very traumatic psychological episode and even
though you seem well adjusted and healthy at the moment statistically,
there is bound to be something wrong with you.” “Statistically,” the Mulla
questioned, “how do you mean?” The doctor replied, “With co-dependency,
addiction, childhood problems, post-traumatic stress syndrome, brain chemical
imbalance, social pressures and the like, we believe ninety-seven percent
of the population is ill to a greater or lesser degree. “Ninety-seven percent!”
the mulla gasped, “ That is a most terrible problem! So, have you personally
ever met a healthy person?” “Yes I believe I met one once but then,” She
reflected, ”I didn’t know him very well.” the doctor replied gravely. “Well
in that case,” the Mulla replied, “ think of the great savings to the country
and perhaps most of you troubles with overcrowding here in the hospital
would be solved if you found those healthy three percent of the people
and put them in the hospital and the other ninety-seven percent can come
to study and learn from them how to become healthy!”
“The Leading Cause of Death”
While taking a rest from his busy schedule Mulla Nasrudin decided to watch
some American television. At first he just played with the remote control
changing channels and looking at all of the different programs. Then some
thing caught his attention on a news program. They were reporting on the
latest statistics about disease and which diseases were claiming the most
lives and what progress had been made in curing these diseases. After the
program, Mulla Nasrudin ran out from his room to one of his students who
was fixing dinner for the Mulla. “I don’t believe it!” said Mulla Nasrudin.
“What is that sir?” the student replied. “Here you live in a most advanced
country and no research at all is being done on the most widespread of
all causes that lead to death! They don’t even mention it!” dramatically
retorted the Mulla The student stopped what he was doing and turned to
Mulla Nasrudin saying, “No research at all? What cause are you talking
about?” Mulla Nasrudin looked at the student and said, “Birth! What else?”
“My Beautiful Seed”
Mulla Nasrudin gave spiritual instruction to his students in his apartment
on Thursday evenings. Among those who came was a professor of comparative
religions. The professor was very learned and in every way treated Mulla
Nasrudin with great respect. However, every time that the Mulla began to
give some history about his teaching, the professor would correct the Mulla
filling in minute details and historical facts. Whenever Mulla Nasrudin
would begin to tell a Sufi story, after the first line, the professor would
begin to laugh and say, ‘This is a good one!’ After one such class Mulla
Nasrudin thought to himself, “Why has this man come to me? He obviously
is more knowledgeable about what I am going to say than I am and yet he
comes here every week. He is more polite than all of the rest of my students
put together and yet his input, interesting as it is, disrupts my teaching.
Why has he come and what am I to do with him?” While Mulla Nasrudin was
contemplating this situation he was looking out of his window at a flower
stand across the street and the thought to himself, “That’s it!” Mulla
Nasrudin invited the professor to come a little early for the next meeting.
When the professor knocked at the door and when Mulla answered it he asked,
“Professor, would you mind to do me a favor?” “Not at all.” Said the professor.
“Then please go across the street for me and buy me some flower seeds and
whatever I might need to grow them.” Said the Mulla “Certainly!” said the
professor and off he went. Soon the professor returned with the flower
seeds, a pot and everything needed to grow the flowers as Mulla Nasrudin
had requested. Mulla opened the bag of seeds and spread them out on the
table, “Ah!” he said, “This is the most beautiful of all my seeds. I would
say that this one has the most potential so I am going to treat it in a
very special way.” He showed the seed to the professor and said, “Isn’t
it a lovely seed?” “Yes.” Agreed the professor. “It is a very nice one.”
“ I have something very special that I want to do with it. Please plant
the others in that pot.” Said Mulla Nasrudin as he went off to another
room. When he came back, the professor had just finished planting the other
seeds. And Mulla Nasrudin asked the professor, “ Professor, I grew up in
a very arid area. There we do not waste our precious water just to grow
things for their beauty and their interesting form so I am most inexperienced
at growing things such as flowers. Do you suppose that you could stop by
for a moment everyday to check on these flower seeds for me and take good
care of them?” “Yes, I would be happy to stop by for a moment on my way
home from work. But what do you intend to do with that other seed?” asked
the professor. Mulla Nasrudin had a book of scriptures in his hand which
he placed on the table. When he opened the book there was the seed that
he had kept apart from the others. He lovingly stroked the little seed
with his fingers saying, “What a beautiful seed.” then Mulla Nasrudin walked
over to his kitchenette and got a funnel and a flashlight and then returned
to the book on the table. He asked the professor to turn on the flashlight
and shine its light onto the seed. Then Mulla Nasrudin held the wide end
of the funnel to his mouth and the narrow end of the funnel over the seed
and began reciting from the scriptures. The professor stood there holding
the flashlight with a look of amusement on his face but said nothing. When
Mulla Nasrudin had finished he took the flashlight from the professor,
thanked him and lead him to the door saying, “I’ll see you tomorrow.” and
the professor left. Day after day, the professor came to water the seeds
and to hold the flashlight for the Mulla as he read scriptures into the
funnel over the seed. Soon the other seeds in the flower pot were sprouting
and growing and before too many weeks some were beginning to flower and
all along Mulla Nasrudin put all of his attention on that one seed to which
he had been reading and kept in a book of scriptures. Then one day when
the professor stopped by, the last of the seeds in the pot had bloomed.
Mulla Nasrudin looked at the flowers and then went over to the book where
the seed was kept and inspected the seed very closely. He picked up the
seed and placed it in the professor’s hand. “Look at this seed professor.
Nothing seems to have happened. It is still as it was when we began. Surely,
this seed is a thousand times more knowledgeable that all of the other
seeds put together. I have read all of the words of Life to it, we have
shined on it the light of intelligence and still it does not grow. What
can have gone wrong?” The professor looked at the seed and then at Mulla
Nasrudin and tears started to stream down his face and fell onto the seed.
“I am this seed.” Said the professor, “All of this has been to open my
heart and now, finally, I understand.” The professor closed his hand around
the seed and wept. Mulla Nasrudin took the professor in his arms, held
him and whispered into his ear, “You have just sprouted my beautiful seed.”
"The Sound of One Hand Clapping."
On one occasion Mulla Nasrudin was invited to a Zen retreat by one of his
friends that was a student of Zen Buddhism. Mulla Nasrudin had never heard
of Zen before coming to the United States so he was most interested to
find out something new. His friend told him that Zen was not too different
from Sufism in many respects. During the retreat Mulla Nasrudin was given
a koan to solve, 'What is the sound of one hand clapping?' and was asked
to meditate on what might be the answer. While everyone else sat in the
stillness and silence of zazen, Mulla Nasrudin was looking at his hands
and moving them around trying to figure out how only one of them could
make a clapping sound while the other remained silent. Soon it was time
for lunch and Mulla Nasrudin sat next to his friend and whispered in his
ear, "I don't understand how only one hand can clap! Have I misunderstood
the question?" The friend looked at the Mulla with a smile and said, “It
is a koan, there is no one answer to the question. It is intended to aid
one in becoming enlightened and to be fully awake to the Unity of Life."
"Oh!" said the Mulla, "That helps me to understand. Thank you." After lunch
there was more meditation and eventually the headmaster invited Mulla Nasrudin
to come before him to answer the koan and to check on the Mullah's progress.
Mulla Nasrudin sat before the headmaster. The moment that they gazed into
each other's eyes a deep spiritual feeling passed between them and they
smiled at each other. The headmaster quietly asked, "What is the sound
of one hand clapping? Mulla Nasrudin frowned and immediately leaned over
to the headmaster and slapped him soundly on the face. The headmaster's
expression turned to puzzlement and he asked, "What was the purpose of
your action?" "I am so sorry my friend," the mulla answered, "but it became
clear that if you saw us in that moment as separate enough to ask me a
question that you were more asleep that me. It became my obligation to
awaken you."
Look for more new Mulla Nasrudin stories in the future right here
in the Post-Dogmatist Quarterly!
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